Too Many Thoughts Redux

This blog is being written under almost the exact same circumstances as the last entry. It is 3:30 in the morning, and I'm lying in bed staring into absolute darkness. The heater is rumbling like a dragon in the hallway, and I once again have too many thoughts crowding my head to allow sleep. Some things have, however, changed since last I wrote: I have completed my senior exhibition (and it went very well); I turned 22 today (well, technically yesterday); and I am now a college graduate! Grad school applications are looming closer and closer, but at least now I have my letters of recommendation lined up. And at least I'm not swamped by post-show blues. I'm too fired up about new ideas for work I haven't made yet to be bogged down by depression yet. We'll see if that's the case after a few months. The future is full of possibilities, and the sheer number of them is intimidating. I've gotten some commission work already, but it's not gallery work, which is my preference, so we'll see where it leads. On that note if you're interested in paying me to make art for you, feel free to email me at theartofpraisehewitt@gmail.com (blatant self-promotion). I just got Adobe CS6, and I've confirmed that Illustrator is my favorite program of them all. :] So perhaps I'll be productive and work on logo designs until the bed bug bites. We'll see how long I stay awake. Tata for now.

Too Many Thoughts

Writing again late at night. That seems to be my habit. Tonight I can't fall asleep, and I think it's because I have too much on my mind. I have an art show (my thesis show before finishing my undergraduate degree) at the end of November, and although that's a month away, it feels REALLY close.

I'm nervous and excited, and also looking-forward-to and terrified of applying to MFA programs in the beginning of next year. Before that I turn 22, which seems really old to me, and basically I'm just getting hit in the face with real life a lot lately.

I'm going to miss my college family so much when I graduate, and I'm not sure where I'll be staying when I'm done... Too many thoughts, so I thought I'd put them out into the world to see if they let my brain rest. We'll see. But for now, goodnight! May you have sweet dreams (Unless you're wide awake, in which case ignore me.)

Professionalism

Have you guys ever thought about what a strange thing modern professionalism is? It seems to me in this technological age, that the definition of professionalism is changing. With the inter-connectedness of social media, even the president of the United States is using sites like Reddit and Tumblr, making use of comedic internet memes, and publicly displaying goofy pictures of himself. I believe that this has both positive and negative impacts on our culture. Because figures who used to be highly unattainable are now able to update their Twitter every three seconds or snap pictures of themselves eating a foot-long hot dog on Instagram, the average person feels almost as if they know the individual personally. However, this amount of "unprofessional" disclosure of one's personal life may have a negative impact on how other, more conservative countries view Americans who engage in this kind of behavior. When the US Olympic swim team posted a video of themselves mouthing the lyrics to "Call Me Maybe," I saw several disgusted comments from youtube-users from other countries denouncing Americans for being unprofessional or "not taking themselves or the Olympics seriously."  With modern ideas of individuality, the advent of social media has made us more able to "be ourselves" than ever before, and the internet allows us not only to come in contact with those who agree with us, but also with those who hold ideals opposed to our own. It is inevitable that someone will disagree with your sense of humor or your personal taste in movies, etc. The internet just allows those people who may disagree with you to have access to that information about your preferences. Overall, however, I think that the lessening of professional expectations is not a bad thing. After all, people in high-paying or high-profile jobs are just human beings like the rest of us. I do believe, however, that professionalism in the workplace is incredibly important to uphold. As someone who has worked in customer service for years, professionalism goes a long way toward making both parties of an agreement happy, and will impress more than many youth believe that it will.

TL;DR It's cool to be yourself, but keep it appropriate when you're in a business setting.

Edit: The reason I've been thinking about this is because I recently got a twitter account, but I'm also revamping my online portfolio to be more professional, and the two things seem rather antithetical to one another.

Dreamland

So I've been having some weird dreams lately, which has gotten me wondering why my dreams are less vivid now than they used to be. When I was in elementary and middle school, my dreams were loud and bright and remembered. But now they are often only whispers or shadows to my waking mind. In contrast, this past week I have had three vivid dreams that my conscious self somehow ended up retaining. Weird. Maybe it has something to do with stress. Although I'm as stressed this week as ever, so who knows.

My friend was telling me about a recurring dream she used to have, and that made me wonder whether dreams actually mean anything like a lot of superstitious people think, or if they're just our grey matter filtering through things it hasn't had time to process while we're conscious. Or maybe it's a bit of both. Regardless, I think it's high time our conscious and unconscious minds learn to work in better harmony. If I could remember all of the cool things my half-asleep self thinks, I'd have a lot of creative juices flowing, let me tell you! (Tangential side-note, does it bother anyone else that regardless and irregardless mean the SAME thing...?)

Rambling thoughts aside, I wouldn't trade my conscious life for a dream one, but I sure wish that some of what I've dreamed could come true.

Rambling Update

I find that I like to write blog posts very late at night. Normally I am prudent enough to ignore that impulse, but today, I cannot resist. It's been a long time since I've written anything, and the words are bottled up in my chest.

I can hardly believe that it's already the middle of February. In two months I will have a new niece, only one semester left of school, and a lot of school debt on my hands (or over my head, as it feels). I'm starting to get scared about the future. I know that's pretty normal, but usually I like to pretend that I have it all together. Right now, however, I'm alternating between absolute confidence and abject terror. In one year's time, I will find out if I have been accepted into any graduate school programs. I don't know where God will put me if I don't get in. I feel his leading to pursue my MFA, and I will stand in that place until he moves me or changes the plan, but I don't know how on earth I'm going to be able to afford such a path.

At the same time, my second sister may already be married by then, which is disconcerting. I feel sometimes as if everyone around me is being picked off one by one until I am left the only single maid in all of America. I know, however, that this is a falsehood, because my closest friends at school are all single, too, which is a great comfort. Tomorrow, we are all going out for desert, and I am looking forward to it very much. Although with the amount of sleep that I am likely to get before then, I may need to take a nap tomorrow afternoon after my studio critique.

The piece to be critiqued is a sculptural bust that I am quite pleased with. I am beginning a body of exploration into the human experience (as differentiated from the human problem), relating to the tensions between culture, time, physicality, and consciousness. This semester has been extremely helpful so far for articulating to myself both my reasons for artmaking and the underlying ideas I would like to pursue. I fear I shall have to sign off in order to sleep, but at least I've written a post for the first time in ages, and that's not nothing.

P.S. I don't intend to abandon this blog any more than normal, but I've started a video blog as well. If you care to watch my verbal (instead of written) ramblings, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/user/kudospraze?feature=guide